Beneath the Glitter
by spottedhorse
Summary: Set sometime after season 4. Edith and Anthony have a chance meeting.


All that is gold does not glitter, not all those who wander are lost; the old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost. From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring; renewed shall be blade that was broken, the crownless again shall be king." J.R.R. Tolkien

Bored with the chatter of the small group, she turned to find a quiet corner from which she could simply watch. These were some of the finest literary minds of the day, after all. Edith Crawley just wasn't in the mood for the all the sparkle and glitter that seemed to follow this crowd. As she turned, she bumped into another and heard the "humph" that accompanied the person behind her.

Gathering her senses, she looked straight at the stuffed shirt and jacket of the body with which she collided. It was only when she looked up into shocked blue eyes that she recognized her victim, though later she supposed the sling should have been a clue.

They both gasped and exclaimed at the same time, "Edith", "Anthony" before glancing away only to have their eyes draw inexplicably back to one another. He seemed to be waiting for a word from her and of course, she had none. What could she possibly say to him? 'Why did you leave me?' or 'where have you been?' seemed hardly appropriate for this setting.

Finally he spoke, obviously grasping for just a moment of her presence. "I had no idea you would be here."

""Nor I, you," she agreed. "I had no idea that you were even in London. You never seemed to like London much."

Straightening up and rolling his head in that all too familiar manner of his that told her how uncomfortable he was, Anthony cleared his throat and replied. "I…I don't. But I thought…well, the less I was in Yorkshire, the better. I knew you were writing for one of the papers but I had no idea you actually came to London," he explained.

"Oh…right," she said, her mind scrambling for something to say, something to keep him there in front of her.

"Oh Anthony, darling… a voice sounded from somewhere behind him. A hand snaked over his shoulder, a woman's hand with long slender, elegant fingers. "Darling there's someone I want you to meet…" the voice continued.

Anthony turned bright red as his eyes darted to Edith. Her mind was taking it all in. Of course he would have met someone else by now; she had, hadn't she? Mary had thought him dull but with his good looks and charm and the stability that he offered, many women of society would be happy to be on his arm. And Edith knew there was more to him than just his charm and appearance. Of course he wasn't here alone.

He surprised her though when he turned to his companion. "Not right now, Virginia. I'm catching up with my fi….friend."

Virginia looked at Edith and smiled knowingly. "Don't worry darling, I'll make other arrangement for getting home," she said with a wink. Then turning back to Edith she smiled. "Anthony is such a dear man, don't you think Edith. You won't monopolize him the whole week while he is in London, will you?"

Before Edith could reply, Virginia disappeared into the crowd. Edith looked at Anthony surprised. "You know Virginia Woolfe?"

A sly smile quirked at the corner of Anthony's mouth, "I haven't spent my _entire_ life locked away at Locksley, you know."

"Yes but… she…she's…"

"The sister of a chum at Cambridge, Gerry Duckworth. I met her then, although she was still just a girl. Anyway, he asked me to peek in on her while I was in town, so I did and she's been dragging me to these affairs the whole week. I was quite impressed at first, meeting such brilliant minds. But after listening to their chatter and watching their behavior a few nights, they've lost their glitter for me. I think I'd rather just remain in my library and experience them through their work."

She couldn't help herself, she smiled. How could she not? He was standing before her, looking as handsome as ever and entertaining her with his wonderful, even if somewhat off beat, humor. As she looked up into his sparkling blue eyes, she felt herself falling…again.

"I was thinking of leaving," she said quietly, so that he had to lean over her to hear. "I'm rather tired of this crowd too."

He studied her, his eyes flickering over her face, sparkling and slightly amused, just as he had looked at her before and she felt her knees go weak. How could this be after what he did to her?

"May I…I mean, I understand if you would rather not but….as I am leaving as well, perhaps I could see you home?" His tone was light but dread and hope mingled just beneath his words.

Edith closed her eyes to center herself. Then looking at him again, she smiled. "I'd like that. I'd like it very much. But I'm staying with Aunt Rosamund so …"

"That's quite alright. It isn't much farther from here than Grantham House. And it will give us a chance to…talk. I want to hear about you, what you've been doing. I've followed all your articles in the paper, you know…" He held his arm for her to take and engaged in pleasant conversation, they left the latest bash from the Bloomsbury Group.

She told him about her life since he'd left her as they drove towards Rosamund's. Of course, she left out a couple of details. But as they neared her aunt's house she turned to him. "Anthony, I don't want to go back, not yet. I…I want to spend more time with you."

He tilted his head and looked at her warily. "Edith, while I've enjoyed this little encounter I…"

"I know, you still think you are too old and that I deserve better. But I don't you see. I don't deserve anything really. But seeing you tonight, spending just the little time with you…I haven't been this happy in over a year. I just don't want it to end, not so soon at least."

After a quick study of her face, he seemed to come to a decision and leaned forward to give instructions to his driver. A few minutes later, they arrived in front of Strallan House. "I hope you don't mind," he said softly. "I just thought…well, we could …talk here."

Looking through the car window, Edith smiled. "Yes, perfect."

They did talk for a few minutes with Anthony explaining his decision to bolt from the church. And then Edith cried, which upset Anthony. "Please Edith, I thought this was what you wanted…for us to talk."

"It is. I just…it was my fault then," she cried.

"No. The fault was entirely mine," he said ruefully. "I simply said that what you told me that night, about loving me because of my injury made everything fall into place. I was troubled before that. I knew it was wrong…"

"No," she insisted. "You did nothing wrong. You tried to keep me at arms length and I kept pushing until I pushed you into something you didn't want."

"But that's just it, Edith. I did want it…want you; with every fiber of my being, I wanted you…still want you," he said emphatically.

"Really?" she looked up at him and saw the sincerity in his expression. "Because I…I've dreamed of nothing else. I…I got involved with my editor at the paper but…"

"Your editor?"

"Yes. Michael Gregson. He…he encouraged me, my writing. But then it turned to something else and he said he loved me."

"So you did as I hoped; you found another man, a younger man?"

"Well… yes. But, you see…he's married already. It's a long story but he planned to go to Germany to get a divorce so we could be together. But right before he left for Germany, the night before, in fact, I…I stayed the night with him and I…I had his child."

"Oh…I see," he said blankly, staring at her astounded.

She could see the workings of his mind turning, him looking for a way to process her news. He tried to speak but it wouldn't happen, not right then anyway. So he simply gaped

Disheartened by his reaction, Edith started to leave but his left hand shot out and caught her. "Please, just give me a moment…You…you have a child?" he asked meekly.

"A little girl. And I love her more than I thought I could love anyone. But I've come to realize I don't love her father."

"Oh, so when this man returns with his divorce you'll…"

"No. He won't return. He disappeared while he was in Germany."

"You…you stayed with him ...willingly?" His nervousness made his words shake and his expression was full of trepidation.

"Yes, he didn't force me…never really pressured me at all. He wanted to marry me from the start…"

"So even though…well, he didn't mistreat you?"

"No, he didn't. I thought I loved him and from his behavior, I believe he did love me. He reminded me of you quite a bit, actually." Anthony looked at her aghast. "Don't worry, I know you'd never…well, he pushed the bounds where you wouldn't have."

"No. I wouldn't have…not that I didn't want to…I…I wanted you so much…so very much it frightened me."

"I frightened you?"

"No, not you…but being with you. I didn't know if I…I didn't believe I could…" he closed his eyes in complete embarrassment. "I'm not a young man, Edith. And you are a very vibrant, vital young woman…"

Her cheeks hinted a soft blush. "Thank you for saying that about me. You are the only one who ever saw me like that…you and to some extent, Michael."

Anthony grimaced. "I don't understand how you could be made to feel that way," he confessed. "Are all the young men idiots?"

Edith laughed. "No. But I came to understand long ago that I am not in step with them. I never felt totally and completely in step with anyone until you. At least, I thought we were but you …you shook me when you bolted from the church. I thought…well, it didn't matter what I thought, it was the fairy tale that I'd dreamed of."

"It seldom is, Edith," he said judiciously.

"Yes, well. I know that now." Then pausing to take in his face, every nuance, every twitch of muscle, every little line…."But I still want you, Anthony. I do love you, in spite of or because of or with your injury. I want to feel you… I want to know your touch, your caress…your kisses…. Please Anthony, let me stay. Let me know you… let me love you…please, love me…"

The air was still. Nothing moved in the room for a few moments as he stared at her. She could see how intensely her declaration affected him as he took it all in. Without a word, he stood and held out his hand. She took it as she rose from her seat and together they walked through the room to the front hall and up the stairs. Neither spoke; it was unnecessary as a few minutes later, behind the closed door of his bedroom, their bodies spoke of all they felt for one another.

All of London was a buzz with the rumors once the news broke about the marriage of the second daughter of the Earl of Grantham to the dashing but older baronet from Yorkshire a few weeks later. Mouths worked even faster once a young girl was seen in their company. As it turned out, Sir Anthony and Lady Edith Strallan were oblivious to all that though as they'd left England for a long honeymoon.

At Downton, a letter arrived explaining the events. Robert fumed and Cora sighed, but then smiled as she thought that finally her Edith had found happiness.

Somewhere on the high seas late that night, a giggle was heard from one of the cabins on the passenger liner. "Oh, Anthony…" a soft female voice whispered. "I can't help it, my sweet; you've completely undone my self control," replied a soft spoken man. A passing steward rolled his eyes as he walked down the corridor. "They're at it again," he mumbled as he turned the corner and disappeared.

"That glittering hope is immemorial and beckons many men to their undoing." Euripides


End file.
